What I Never Knew I Was Missing - THE HOLY SPIRIT!

It's amazing to me how ignorant I was before I became saved, as we all are. Scripture says exactly what I was in so many places - a fool. I grew up in the Catholic Church with faith that was passed down to me by my mom and for a long time my faith was very strong. After she passed away and I entered my college years, however, I began to wander off. I just "got busy." I stumbled on yoga and began to heal from grief and several relationship wounds in classes. I learned to connect with myself, but that was only going to take me so far. Then I started attending church again when I found out I was going to have a baby, which was when everything changed. I started "church-shopping" for something that felt more real, more passionate, and not quite so "rehearsed." But nothing in the Catholic sector was cutting it for me anymore. In some ways, it never had. I just didn't feel a personal connection with Christ in any Catholic churches and I wanted that so badly. I wanted my faith to be real, to be on fire for God, to not just recite memorized prayers outloud without any feeling but to feel pure joy in Mass and to FEEL God. I just didn't. I have always believed in God, but I never really felt like I knew him or had a personal relationship with Him. How about you? Do you know God? Or perhaps the better question, does he know you?

I didn't necessarily know what was missing but I knew that something was. I needed to connect with Christ. I needed to get to know my Savior, and to begin a relationship with him, the most important relationship I will ever be in in this life. That's not what yoga taught me; yoga taught me that the most important relationship I would ever be in was with myself. And although yoga taught me about peace, I never felt true peace when hardship or tribulations came my way. That's because the only true peace there is in this world comes from Christ. It doesn't come from yourself, or from yoga, or anything of this world. True peace is divine. In John 14:27 Jesus says to us, "Peace I leave you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." Is your heart troubled? Are you afraid? Then you need the peace of Jesus Christ, a peace that can only come through Him.

I realized I didn't know God and that neither yoga nor the Catholic church was the answer for me, so, what was? God. Plain and simple. I needed to get to know Him. I knew He loved me, but I didn't feel it. I knew of his peace, but I hadn't experienced it. I watched my girlfriend Sarah's Facebook status', full of a deep love of Christ, beautiful scriptures, and such a sincere faith no matter what life brought her way, and I wanted that! I wanted to feel joy and peace in the midst of all the stress, trials, and devestation I had faced and would continue to face in this world. So I got in touch with Sarah, asked her if I could meet up with her, and we began a bible study. And do you know what happened, thanks to our time in the Word together? I came to know Jesus, I accepted Him as my savior, I began to know Him, and most importantly, I received his Holy Spirit. THE Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God, who would make his home in me, work through me, teach me, and sanctify me. I had prayed "the prayer" before, asking God to come into my life and be my savior, but it hadn't stuck. I was in my early teens and I felt like I wanted to make the decision and understood the significance of it, but I didn't understand the Holy Spirit's role. I knew OF the Holy Spirit, but in all my years in the Catholic Church and growing up in a family of faith, I never once heard that in order to be saved, I would need to not just accept Jesus as my savior and seek his forgiveness of my sins, but that I would need to give him my life. I didn't know that Kim Ehnes would have to die and Christ in Kim Ehnes would have to be born.

Death. My death. Jesus Christ died for me on the cross, and according to scripture, anyone who wants to be saved needs to die to their old, sinful self, and be reborn in Christ. Take a look at John 1:12: "Yet all who did receive Him (Jesus), to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become Children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." So we aren't all children of God just because we believe in Him (I know, that was a shocker for me too, since most of my beliefs about God were rooted in what I thought God would be like and not what I learned from scripture that he actually was), but we have the RIGHT to become his children. And who makes us his child? God does, not us. I learned at my Christian church something I had never heard before, that anytime someone is proclaiming the name of Jesus, it is the Holy Spirit speaking in him. 1 Corinthians 12:3 says "Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, 'Jesus be cursed' and no one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except by the Holy Spirit." So if you've admitted to believing in God but haven't given your life to Him yet, the Holy Spirit has already been working on you. He has already been drawing you to Christ, perhaps as a result of the prayers of others. I know that I pray people I love will be pursued by the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit is the only one who can change a heart, the only one who can truly sanctify us and teach us about God. Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit before he was cruxified. He said to his disciples, "And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Advocate to help you and be with you forever - the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him or knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." WOW! The Spirit of God lives in you, if you've given your life to Christ. How amazing! It's so important to believe that Christ has made his home in you and to watch for his work. He'll begin teaching you through His Word (the Bible) and sanctifying you immediately. I couldn't believe how soon after I prayed the prayer with my girlfriend Sarah that I noticed everything changing. But of course, people in this world like family or friends couldn't understand the change in me. To them, I was the same old Kim, which was understandable. That scripture says that the world cannot accept Him (the Holy Spirit) because it neither sees Him or knows Him, just as I hadn't before. But I knew the difference and so did all my Christian friends. God's spirit was in me now, making his home in me, teaching me Truth, convicting me of my sinful tendencies, and helping me turn from them. And although it's been hard, learning to ever so slowly to turn from my sinful ways and old ways of thinking, I've also been feeling more acceptance, peace, joy, faith, love, humility, and self-control than I ever had before. Yes, the fruit of the Spirit!

I can't tell you how many times I picked up the Bible before and just didn't get much from it. It didn't make sense. It seemed to contradict itself in places. Honestly, it was boring. But after I prayed the prayer and learned that reading the Bible each day was the most important way to get to know God, the Holy Spirit began witnessing to my spirit, speaking truth from the Word into my life. The Helper (Holy Spirit) helped me understand the Bible, find the lessons in each chapter, and apply them to my life. Sometimes I still get confused of course, but I pray for his guidance and now I also have an amazing group of people to go to with questions, people who the Holy Spirit uses to speak truth into my life. (Did you know, by the way, that God can even work and speak through people who don't believe in Him? Check out what he did with Pharaoh before he had Moses lead the slaves out of Israel! Pretty amazing to know that He is always in control of everyone and everything and works through all situations if we only have eyes to see). What happens when I open the Bible now, if I pray for it, is that the Spirit leads me to where He wants me to be. And sometimes I don't understand why at the time, but I do later. I'm learning to trust Him more, and am always amazed when I see proof of his work in my life. I don't feel Him 24-7, to be honest, the way some Christians do, but he's in me all the time and I pray I will progress to the point that I feel him all day, every day! And it's important to point out that I am not worthy of God living in me by myself, oh no no no! I don't mean to make myself sound high and mighty at all. Jesus cleansed me of my sin by his death on the cross and HE makes me worthy. The only good things that come out of me are of Christ. I have tried to be more "holy" by myself, to not snap at someone when they attack me, to be loving to someone who doesn't love me, to listen to the voice of love when I felt strong fear, and it never worked. Why? Because we can't do this world on our own. We NEED Jesus. And HE will do his work through us if we let Him. Right now, Christ is working through me in this blog. I know that and I believe it. The Holy Spirit is at work, because I would not want to write about Christ by my own accord. He is living in me and working through me now, and my main purpose has become to love Him, love others as he does, and to share Him with others. I have a looooong way to go on the road to sanctification, I always will, but as long as I'm dying to my sin a little more every day and striving to be more like Christ every day, I think he'll be really pleased with me. And I can't overcome my sin without Him; the Holy Spirit is the one helping me. Grace, that's it in a nut shell. John 15:26 - "When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father - the Spirit of truth goes out from the Father - he will testify about me. And you must also testify, for you have been with me from the beginning." How amazing! So when we accept that Jesus died on the cross for us, accept Him as our Savior and give our life to Him, He will ask the Father to send his Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth, to testify about Him. So we learn through the Holy Spirit, and we testify ourselves through the Holy Spirit. And that's what happened with the creation of the Bible. Countless people were overtaken by the Holy Spirit and God spoke through them. The Bible was written by divine revelation, and all those who refute or blaspheme that do so because they do not have the Holy Spirit and therefore they do not yet understand. It's that simple.

Jesus continued to say, "Unless I go away, the Holy Spirit will not come to you; but if I go; I will send him to you. When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgement; about sin because people do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and about judgement, because the prince of this world now stands condemned" (John 16:7-11). People don't like it when the Spirit comes into others, because their light will shine into the darkness of their lives. The Spirit brings sin into the limelight and exposes it. People don't like that. They like to live in their own sin, thinking it's righteous, because they don't know what true righteousness is. Jesus came into a world that did not accept Him, and still doesn't. It's so very sad to me. Righteousness was met with unrighteousness. The Pharisees thought Jesus was breaking the law, HE who created the law, and so they killed Him. We killed Him who loved us so much that He left Heaven and came into the world to die for us. And we thought that was righteous. We thought Christ was unrighteous for "breaking the Sabbath." Unreal. So for us, his followers, we have to accept that the world will not accept us and will not like us. The darkness hates the light. The world rejects the Spirit of God and does not understand or believe in it. But God wants us to testify on his behalf anyways, he urges us to share his love and the message of salvation with others. His master plan is for everyone to be saved, so it's our job to speak truth, even if people don't like it. And you certainly don't have to force Jesus on anyone or speak when people don't want to listen, but just make sure that when you do speak, TRUTH is coming out of your mouth. The Truth that comes from his Word and revelation of the Holy Spirit. I want everyone I know to be saved, yet I have been sad lately realizing how many that I thought would be, won't. At least not if they keep living the way they are right now. Because God isn't someone you can keep at arms length, pick up here and there when you need him, and then go back to living your life as you want. No, it isn't enough to simply acknowledge God, sit in church every Sunday, and pray here and there. Not even close. Getting into Heaven isn't nearly that easy, and I'm so glad I realized this before it was too late. In Matthew 7:21 the Holy Spirit revealed to Matthew, "Not every one that saith unto me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter into the kingdom of Heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven." He calls us to do His will, not ours, to lay down our lives, to die to our sinful desires, and to live for Him. THAT is how become his child and enter into his Kingdom, that, along with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So what do you do if you're reading this and realize you haven't been saved but want to be? Pray to God about it. Read his Word. Seek Him. Pray the Sinner's Prayer, if you feel ready. Give your life to God and accept the Holy Spirit. Let him come to live in you, to sanctify you, and keep drawing near to Christ through His Word every day. I like to call my time in the Word "Sitting at the Feet of Jesus." It's amazing. And after that, when the Spirit moves you do do so, get baptized in the Holy Spirit. Mark 1:9-10: "At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Just as Jesus was coming up our of the water, he saw Heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on Him like a dove." If Jesus felt the need to be baptized in the Spirit, then we all need to be. And I'm not talking about baptizing a baby who has no idea what is going on and hasn't made the decision for him or herself. I am talking not about some old-school (and in my opinion, very empty tradition), but about the most important decision you will ever make in your life - the decision to live not for yourself, but for Christ. I am so excited for Shawn and I to be baptized in the Holy Spirit this summer, as I have heard it is such a moving experience. And there's certainly no rush to do it. You can give your life to Christ and start living for Him without being baptized, it's just a good thing to do to really feel the power of the Holy Spirit come down on you.

I'll leave you with this great Scripture, which Jesus left his disciples with when he appeared to them after being cruxified. "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptised with water, but in a few days you will be baptised with the Holy Spirit....You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses" (Acts 1:4 and 8). 

Go and be his witness. Thanks be to God for his amazing gift of the Holy Spirit. Through Him, we can learn truth, love better, become more like Christ, and do all things he requires of us! Amen!