Taming the Tongue

The Holy Spirit has been strongly convicting me in regards to my tongue lately. If you know me, you know that I talk...a lot! I also talk very fast (some claim I don't actually have to breathe when I talk). I'll tell you, I always thought my ability to talk fast was a gift. I figured I would wind up as a radio broadcaster, an insurance salesman, or hopefully a motivational speaker one day, simply because of my ability. When I became a yoga instructor and was responsible for memorizing and reciting 30 pages of dialogue to talk practitioners through a 90-minute class, no one was surprised. I've always loved to communicate, particularly through writer (my dream has always been to become an author and speaker), but I don't know that others have always loved it. Most people laugh at my "ability," but I've also hurt several people with my tongue. Over the years I've become aware of the fact that those who talk more not only have a tendency to say too much, but to also speak more than they listen (which isn't good) and to use their tongue in sinful 

ways.

Something just happened to my family that was very unexpected, something most people would consider "bad." Yet, my fiance and I are convinced that God's hand is all over it. Things just aren't adding up, they aren't making sense...without God. I've felt an overwhelming sense of peace since I received the "bad news," which I can't explain...without God. He is truly at work in my life and my fiance's, and I know it. But as he's always teaching us, this week he has really been laying into me about my tongue. My fiance recently came to the Lord and I have been encouraging to go to God with what just happened to him and to pray for God's wisdom. He is doing great with that, but of course he is still struggling with his own questions and uncertainty. I've been encouraging him and helping him feel the same peace I feel in the midst of all this, which is great and he has been thanking me for that, but I've also been sharing my opinion with him over and over again. Shawn is planning to take a course of action that I'm not so sure is what God wants...(bells should be ringing right now, since I'm not God and cannot claim to know his plan right now)...and I keep making that clear. But isn't sharing my opinion once enough? And isn't sharing it tenderly even more important? I find myself telling Shawn to go to God and stop trying to control it himself in an almost abrasive way. How does that make any sense? Doesn't that almost defeat the purpose of leading someone to God, if you're doing it in a somewhat harsh or possibly even judgmental way? And of course, in my time in the Word today, my bible opened to James 3 - Taming the Tongue.

James compares the tongue to the rudder of a ship or bit in a horse's mouth. He says that just as a bit controls the whole horse and a small rudder controls a whole ship, so to does the tongue, a small part of the body, steer the whole body. "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell" (James 3:6). That got me thinking about the tongue. The tongue is what gives life to our anger, doubt, hate, aggression, envy, and selfishness, among other evil ways. Thinking or feeling something isn't sinful, but acting on it is. We can see this in Ephesians 4:26: "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the Devil a foothold." Notice that anger is not sinful in itself, as even God gets angry at us and we know he is without sin. It is what we do as a result of our anger, how we act on it, that is usually sinful. And how do we usually act out our anger? Through our tongues. We are so quick to act off of emotion with our tongues, whether we are expressing anger, pride, disappointment, judgement, shame, or deflecting our own hurts. We need to guard our tongues carefully because they are evil and the source of much sin.

James 3:8 says "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." I don't know it scripture could be any more clear. There are so many references to the tongue as evil, and how important it is to hold it. And that is what I have been praying for this week. Anyone who knows me knows that I never hold my tongue and that I'm always talking and always speaking my mind. Not good. That said, anyone who knows me would probably also say with much confidence that I don't stand a chance at holding it. And they would be right...without God. God's grace will cover me, and his Holy Spirit will help me. If I pray to him to help me do better with this and I pray his will, he will help me. No questions asked. My heart is in the right place and I'm not asking this for myself, but so that I might reflect his love to others more purely, as he intended. "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters this should not be" (James 3:9-10).  How powerful is that scripture?! Think about it! I can't tell you how many times I have yelled at Shawn about being late to church on our way there, so that we walk in upset with each other. Doesn't that almost defeat the point of going to church?! I'm sure God would rather have me stay home from church than sin all the way there. Yikes! My mouth is full of judgement, selfishness, guilt, and fear, things I do not want to share or encourage in others. My tongue gives life to my impure thoughts and I don't want it to. This will be a lifelong prayer request for me, and for most of us, but I know he will continue to teach and sanctify me through it.

God says "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight reign on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless" (James 1:26). Wow. God was speaking straight to my heart today. If I am going to live my life for him, I need to be VERY careful how I use my tongue, much more careful than I am currently being. He has been opening my eyes through conversations with my sisters and my fiance to the ways I often speak in a harsh or judgmental way when I don't mean to, and how that makes others feel. I have been praying for help to use my words to heal, love, encourage, and bring joy to others rather than to bring shame, judgement, or any of the like. God put us here to reflect his love and his glory throughout the world, and I cannot do that if I am using my tongue to sin right and left.

May he help me hold my tongue much more than I have been up until now, even if that means biting it until I bleed, to listen more, and to let the things coming out of my mouth when I do open it be words of peace, hope, and joy. I don't need to use my tongue to try to control others if I truly trust that God is in charge, I don't need to use my tongue to judge someone if I know that God is the one and only judge and that I am in no place to judge anyone as I am full of sin myself, and I don't need to use my tongue to make anyone see things my way because God's way is the only one that matters. I could stand to talk SO much less and trust SO much more. Let that be my prayer today, tomorrow, and always. Amen.