Walking the Walk
This Christian walk is not always easy. Many people think that Christians experience "the good life" and are exempt from suffering but that isn't true at all. Christians live in the same world as non-believers, a fallen world full of sin. The only difference is that we go to God to help us in times of trial, to grant us his grace, his strength, and his faith. We rely on him rather than ourselves, and that changes everything. In times of trial and tribulation, God wants us to stop focusing so much on our circumstances and more on him. If we seek him and approach him with both prayer and thanksgiving, he will help us. That's a promise. And this past week, I really needed some help.
Since I gave my life to God I have been made fun of and mocked in his name, which the Bible tells me to expect and actually rejoice in, but this past weekend I was full-blown attacked for it for the first time. I was blasted as "Little Miss God" and attacked for speaking one way and acting another, and for many other things I care not to repeat. It was tough to hear and my heart felt very heavy afterwards for many reasons. First, I was disappointed in myself for sinning in my anger and hurt. God commands in Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin...do not give the devil a foothold," but I did just that. Thankfully, God has already forgiven me, and I've asked for his help to do better next time. Second, I was very concerned about whether or not some of the words this person spoke were true. I don't want to come off as acting like some high and mighty Christian (which I'm not, of course, and certainly don't want to be) who is saying one thing and living another, and I don't want anyone to see me that way. I prayed and talked to God about it, but he spoke to me through scripture and reassured me. He knows my heart and my motives. He knows that I am trying my best to live for him and to sin less, but of course I fail all the time. Christians are humans too so we are never going to be perfect. But we are expected to be good role-models of Christ's love, and I feel terrible because I did not set a good example for this person. Even still, in the middle of our argument, there was a spirit of humility that descended on me, which changed my heart and led me to both profess my love for this person and apologize. I've never done that before, not in the middle of an argument. How encouraging! God is at work! And even after the disagreement, all I wanted to do was reach out and ask for forgiveness for my sins, something I never would've done so soon before. The old me would've thought, "Well she said more terrible things than I did, she acted worse than I did, she wronged me more, etc." and so I would've waited for that person to apologize to me, out of arrogance and stubbornness. But I don't live that way anymore. Christ changed all that. He changed me.
God has really been working on me to be more humble lately and that has been changing my relationships with others in such a positive way. However, I am still a sinner and I will still hurt and disappoint both others and myself, unfortunately. The difference is that I am now convicted of my sins by the Holy Spirit and immediately ask for forgiveness, as well as the grace to do better. I hate that I sin, but unfortunately I know I always will. Seeking to sin less and less, with his help, is the best I can do. So I did feel better after spending time with the Lord, and after he spoke to me and comforted me with Scripture, but he didn't do just that - he also challenged me. "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). Yow. That's a hard one. I have been trying so hard to love this person for a while now but I feel like I fail miserably all the time, and I often don't know why. I've asked God to open my eyes. I keep focusing on all this person is doing wrong, particularly towards me, both now and in the recent past, but God does not want me to do that. I am not the judge of anyone and it's not for me to focus on the speck of sand in another person's eye while there is a plank in my own. I know that, yet I often do it anyways. Sin. God commands me to love and serve those who hurt me, disappoint me, judge me, or attack me just as much as anyone else. I keep praying for his grace to help me do this, because it is so incredibly difficult.
God also reminded me that this is not the last time something like this will happen. The person I got into a fight with was so mad at me for following Christ and felt I was pressuring her to do the same, which I don't feel I was, and I struggled to understand why. But scripture is quite clear that those living in darkness (anyone who has not asked Jesus to be their Lord and Savior) will hate the light, and I've been finding that to be very true. So many people do not like my decision, even people I love and people I expected to fully support it (or at least not have a problem with it). God says, in 2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted," that's a guarantee, BUT 1 Peter 4:14 says that "if you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of Glory and of God rests on you." So this is simply part of it. End of story. All I can do is bring it to God, dust myself off, and then get back up. No one said the Christian walk was going to be easy, but here I stand anyways. God knows my heart, he will heal my wounds, and he will give me the grace to stand firm in my faith when others attack it.
One thing I took away from the argument I had was that perhaps I shouldn't be talking to others about God, particularly non-believers, so I don't push them further away from God. And unfortunately, just yesterday someone I love and have looked up to my whole life, made a comment that I am supposed to keep my relationship with God "quiet" and in my heart only. This bothered me a lot and I didn't know exactly why at the time, but since this person holds a lofty position in my life, I assumed she had to be right. But it kept bothering me and weighing on my heart so I talked to a Christian friend about it, who helped me see why I was so upset by the comment- because it was wrong! Jesus came back with the command to love God and to love each other as God loves, but also to share him with the world! God's master plan is for everyone to achieve salvation through Jesus Christ, but people can't be saved if they don't know about Jesus. It is our job, as Christians, to share him! 1 Timothy 4:11-16 says "Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching...Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress." God wants us to share him. No, not wants, he commands us to share him! It is our duty as Christians! It was so hard for me to accept that this person, who believes in God and made me therefore confident that her opinion was always a good/right one, was wrong but God revealed to me that she was. No one's word comes above his, and he has spoken his will clearly in this scripture. People may not like hearing about Jesus, and it certainly isn't my job to force him on anyone, but it is my job to talk about what he's done for me and to share him! "If I were still trying to please people I would not be a servant of God" (Galatians 1:10). People won't always be happy to hear what I have to say, some might downright hate it, but that's okay. Jesus encountered that too, but he cared enough about them to share the message of salvation anyways and that's what he wants me to do too. God's grace will cover anyone, he can forgive anything, and he loves us all unconditionally, and that's a message we all need to here. So even if some don't like that I talk about God more now, I will speak anyways, not only because he has become the biggest part of my life, but because I have their best interest at heart and because I have Jesus in my heart. And Jesus, well, he's too good not to share!
1 Timothy 1:15-16
"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."
Since I gave my life to God I have been made fun of and mocked in his name, which the Bible tells me to expect and actually rejoice in, but this past weekend I was full-blown attacked for it for the first time. I was blasted as "Little Miss God" and attacked for speaking one way and acting another, and for many other things I care not to repeat. It was tough to hear and my heart felt very heavy afterwards for many reasons. First, I was disappointed in myself for sinning in my anger and hurt. God commands in Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin...do not give the devil a foothold," but I did just that. Thankfully, God has already forgiven me, and I've asked for his help to do better next time. Second, I was very concerned about whether or not some of the words this person spoke were true. I don't want to come off as acting like some high and mighty Christian (which I'm not, of course, and certainly don't want to be) who is saying one thing and living another, and I don't want anyone to see me that way. I prayed and talked to God about it, but he spoke to me through scripture and reassured me. He knows my heart and my motives. He knows that I am trying my best to live for him and to sin less, but of course I fail all the time. Christians are humans too so we are never going to be perfect. But we are expected to be good role-models of Christ's love, and I feel terrible because I did not set a good example for this person. Even still, in the middle of our argument, there was a spirit of humility that descended on me, which changed my heart and led me to both profess my love for this person and apologize. I've never done that before, not in the middle of an argument. How encouraging! God is at work! And even after the disagreement, all I wanted to do was reach out and ask for forgiveness for my sins, something I never would've done so soon before. The old me would've thought, "Well she said more terrible things than I did, she acted worse than I did, she wronged me more, etc." and so I would've waited for that person to apologize to me, out of arrogance and stubbornness. But I don't live that way anymore. Christ changed all that. He changed me.
God has really been working on me to be more humble lately and that has been changing my relationships with others in such a positive way. However, I am still a sinner and I will still hurt and disappoint both others and myself, unfortunately. The difference is that I am now convicted of my sins by the Holy Spirit and immediately ask for forgiveness, as well as the grace to do better. I hate that I sin, but unfortunately I know I always will. Seeking to sin less and less, with his help, is the best I can do. So I did feel better after spending time with the Lord, and after he spoke to me and comforted me with Scripture, but he didn't do just that - he also challenged me. "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). Yow. That's a hard one. I have been trying so hard to love this person for a while now but I feel like I fail miserably all the time, and I often don't know why. I've asked God to open my eyes. I keep focusing on all this person is doing wrong, particularly towards me, both now and in the recent past, but God does not want me to do that. I am not the judge of anyone and it's not for me to focus on the speck of sand in another person's eye while there is a plank in my own. I know that, yet I often do it anyways. Sin. God commands me to love and serve those who hurt me, disappoint me, judge me, or attack me just as much as anyone else. I keep praying for his grace to help me do this, because it is so incredibly difficult.
God also reminded me that this is not the last time something like this will happen. The person I got into a fight with was so mad at me for following Christ and felt I was pressuring her to do the same, which I don't feel I was, and I struggled to understand why. But scripture is quite clear that those living in darkness (anyone who has not asked Jesus to be their Lord and Savior) will hate the light, and I've been finding that to be very true. So many people do not like my decision, even people I love and people I expected to fully support it (or at least not have a problem with it). God says, in 2 Timothy 3:12 "Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted," that's a guarantee, BUT 1 Peter 4:14 says that "if you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of Glory and of God rests on you." So this is simply part of it. End of story. All I can do is bring it to God, dust myself off, and then get back up. No one said the Christian walk was going to be easy, but here I stand anyways. God knows my heart, he will heal my wounds, and he will give me the grace to stand firm in my faith when others attack it.
One thing I took away from the argument I had was that perhaps I shouldn't be talking to others about God, particularly non-believers, so I don't push them further away from God. And unfortunately, just yesterday someone I love and have looked up to my whole life, made a comment that I am supposed to keep my relationship with God "quiet" and in my heart only. This bothered me a lot and I didn't know exactly why at the time, but since this person holds a lofty position in my life, I assumed she had to be right. But it kept bothering me and weighing on my heart so I talked to a Christian friend about it, who helped me see why I was so upset by the comment- because it was wrong! Jesus came back with the command to love God and to love each other as God loves, but also to share him with the world! God's master plan is for everyone to achieve salvation through Jesus Christ, but people can't be saved if they don't know about Jesus. It is our job, as Christians, to share him! 1 Timothy 4:11-16 says "Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching...Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress." God wants us to share him. No, not wants, he commands us to share him! It is our duty as Christians! It was so hard for me to accept that this person, who believes in God and made me therefore confident that her opinion was always a good/right one, was wrong but God revealed to me that she was. No one's word comes above his, and he has spoken his will clearly in this scripture. People may not like hearing about Jesus, and it certainly isn't my job to force him on anyone, but it is my job to talk about what he's done for me and to share him! "If I were still trying to please people I would not be a servant of God" (Galatians 1:10). People won't always be happy to hear what I have to say, some might downright hate it, but that's okay. Jesus encountered that too, but he cared enough about them to share the message of salvation anyways and that's what he wants me to do too. God's grace will cover anyone, he can forgive anything, and he loves us all unconditionally, and that's a message we all need to here. So even if some don't like that I talk about God more now, I will speak anyways, not only because he has become the biggest part of my life, but because I have their best interest at heart and because I have Jesus in my heart. And Jesus, well, he's too good not to share!
1 Timothy 1:15-16
"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."
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