He Will Provide
For those of you who have been following, you know I felt very convicted that coming to Atlanta would force me to rely on God, rather than myself, completely. In our daily lives it's almost easy to forget that God is in control of everything. We wake up, go through the moves and motions of a morning routine, go to work or stay home with the kids and perform whatever activities and roles coincide with that, we eat dinner, we get ready for bed, and we repeat that the next time. We might pray to The Lord with special requests, in times of need, or about a certain challenge or problem, but we tend to feel like we only need him for certain things, right? It's just our human nature. In reality, he's in charge of it all, allows it all, sends it all, holds us through it all, and knows it all, whether we want to acknowledge that or not. There's nothing like a move, or something major like a job loss or illness, to pull the rug out from under you and leave you as blank as a white sheet of paper, completely unsure of your next move. These times, the low points of our lives or the times that we feel like we have very little to hold onto, are when we tend to reach out for God. It's sad really, because it shouldn't take something like that to make us realize he's always there for us and has been there all along. Even better, he always has our best interest at heart...always. When we go through a tough time we often can;t see at the time the way God will work it for good or use it to sanctify us but you can be sure he will. It's usually easier to see what he was doing when we look back, and that's precisely what is on my heart today.
The first big thing I felt like I needed the Lord for was to see my family and I all safely to Atlanta. Next, I needed his rest. My son wasn't sleeping, I wasn't sleeping, he barely napped, and everything in our lives had just changed. Just as soon as my son and I landed in Atlanta my husband started working 11-hour days and Caleb and I were left alone in an apartment in Midtown, with no car, no friends, and hardly anything to do. Boy oh boy has God used all of this to draw me nearer to him. There has been a lot of stress with trying to find a house to rent when we only have one car and are trying to find something about 30 minutes from where we are, which often takes an hour or more to get to with Atlanta traffic. I noticed how quickly my anxiety skyrocketed as each new day passed by without any prospects. I started checking Craiglist incessantly, whenever my son was occupied for a moment, checking my e-mail to see if anyone had responded, browsing Trulia and Zillow to see if anything new had gone up. Six times a day, at least. Ridiculous. Then, in my time with the Lord while my son napped, I would feel pretty convicted about my lack of patience or faith in him, and decide to stop checking these sites incessantly. Yet, when I woke up the next day, I was right back to it. I wonder what God was thinking up there, watching me realize my sin and seek to turn from it, just to run right back to it the next morning. Oye. Luckily he loves me like crazy and forgives me each and every time I fall. It's crazy. Finally, after praying and finding a great house on the Internet, my hubby and I got to see it, along with a few others we made appointments for. The one we were most interested in was our last stop and when we pulled up, we felt excited immediately. It was so cute from the outside, big, with a nice driveway, yard, and two-car garage. It was clearly much more house than we had seen yet! I walked inside to a huge living room, three bedrooms (just what we wanted and felt we needed), a big master bedroom (bonus!) with walk-in closets, and an eat-in kitchen that would work perfectly for our messy toddler. My husband so much as walked in the door before he said, "I want it." I asked my sister to come down with her husband and son to give us a second opinion as I frivolously filled out the application. I noticed the carpet was a little dirty, and so were the appliances and the kitchen in general, but it had more things on our wish list than any property had yet. When my sister applied she was pretty concerned about how dirty the carpet was, considering we have a toddler who still falls and is typically sitting or playing on the floor. She was also concerned about some places on the back of the house where the siding had been eaten away, especially the part where damage seemed to have come through into the kitchen. I was also concerned about those things, but my husband didn't really care. He thought we were being too picky. To me, it seemed like all he saw was the size of the house, and everything else was cosmetic to him. He could deal with outdated and a little dirty if we would have the space we need for our son and all our stuff not to have to go in storage. We talked about it on the way home and felt happy that our application was in, along with just one other person. Our chances were pretty high! My sister texted about a sex offender living just a few houses up, and my husband nearly went through the roof. (She's a parole officer for a living, by the way, and this is just something she tends to look into when kids are involved.) Shawn wanted that house and he was upset that I was excited and had wanted it until my sister showed up, and now didn't at all. For the money the house was a steal, but it also had some issues. We went to bed aggravated with each other, again, after having some words about our personal feelings. Tension had been mounting as we neared the end of our first full week here with no house, and it was getting the best of us. We were trying to be faithful, knowing full-well God would provide, yet when we focused on our circumstances more than we focused on him everything started to go downhill. Shawn's company had provided temporary housing for us for four weeks only, and the paperwork was already completed for us to leave by November 18. We were under the gun. To make matters worse, the moving company needed a couple of weeks notice to get our stuff from Buffalo down here, so we really only had less than one more week to find something. All that considered, we were failing miserably at trusting in Him, and we both knew it.
A couple of days later, we still hadn't heard from the listing agent on the house. We continued to look online but didn't find anything. That is when I really felt the Holy Spirit working on me to trust in Him, to take one day at a time, and to realize that God is in control and not me. I took a much-needed breather from all the house-hunting to take my son over to Piedmont Park. We played on the playground and then I walked him over to see all the ducks in the pond. We watched as people threw them pieces of bread, amazed at how fast they reacted and what a commotion it caused. They were poking each other, fighting over the bread, honking and sqwaking and everybody was up in arms, or at least most of them. Then I noticed a duck just below where we were that wasn't moving at all. He wasn't rushing in to get his fill or strategically planning his break-in. In fact, he didn't move at all. He floated quietly, gazing over at the swarm of ducks acting ridiculously, totally unbothered. I couldn't stop watching him. He kind of amazed me. Here all these ducks were coming from everywhere around once they realized food was being given out and they were all pushing each other out of the way and reacting frantically whenever another piece of bread hit the water. We definitely saw a few duck fights! But this little guy seemed to know something all the others didn't. It was if he had a secret that no one else knew. I wanted to know it, and then it suddenly dawned on me that I already did. This duck knew he didn't have to fight his way to the front of the line to get his share or what he felt like he deserved. He didn't have to get all worked up or fight with others, because he was fed and knew he would be fed again. This duck, in my eyes, seemed to be aware that the Lord would provide for him the way he always had. I immediately thought of Matthew 6:26: "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Wow. I had just been nailed. Shawn and I knew the Lord would provide a home for us and yet we hadn't been acting like it. I was telling God I trusted him and talking to Shawn about how I knew he would provide, yet I was searching websites incessantly, making phone calls and appointments frantically out of fear I'd be beat out by somebody else, and anxiously checking my e-mail every 10 minutes to see if I had a response yet. Each time someone got back to me to inform me that the house we were interested in was gone, I felt a little more despair creep over me. I tried to fight it, but I was losing hope. This duck was my inspiration. God used him to teach me a lesson, and I wouldn't soon forget it. It was time to practice more patience than I had so far, and time to truly show God that I trusted him instead of just talking about it.
We found out later that day that the house Shawn had wanted so bad was gone. It went to the other couple. Honestly, I felt relieved. We had prayed pretty hard that God wouldn't let us get into something we thought we wanted if it wasn't his best for us. We had a feeling that house had some issues and we didn't need to take just anything out of fear nothing better would come along. I didn't lose hope this time, though, because I knew God was at work. And he was. The next day I got a call from a real estate agent who had been at the last property we saw. It was his clients that got it. He knew we were looking and had my contact information from requesting information about that property, even though he wasn't the agent I had been working with. He was very kind and told me he would be happy to let me know of anything that came along in the area we desired to live. Later that day he e-mailed me about a sign he saw in his old neighborhood. A three-bedroom, two bath house was up for rent in Woodstock but it wasn't posted online or anything. I asked for more information and he sent a little bit that sounded good. Then he called me later that night to give me the landlord's contact information. Interestingly enough, I didn't even need to call her. She called me within the hour. It's funny how things often feel forced when we try to control them, but how easily they flow when we let God be the one in charge. The landlord told me a lot about the property and I told her a little bit about us. We had a great conversation and I could tell she almost wanted us to move in already as much as we did. I just had a good feeling without even seeing the place. She sent me a string of pictures a few minutes later and I couldn't believe it! The house looked great! It was a cute ranch, with a nice big living room, a big master bedroom with a walk-in closet, a good-sized room for Caleb and one for our guests/playroom, and everything looked to be in good shape. It even had room for our table in the kitchen so that my son isn't eating over carpeting (he's a bit of a messy eater). Then came the kicker: she had just recarpeted. That was my big issue with the last property, that and the kitchen. We would be the first ones on these carpets, which is awesome, and even though her kitchen was smaller it was clean! Shawn and I were ecstatic to see it the next day. When we arrived with our son and entered the house, it was obvious we needed to do some paint touchups but other than that the house was great! It was spacious, relatively clean, had a room off the kitchen for laundry, a good-size garage, nice bedrooms and bathrooms, and then we saw the yard. Oh. My. Word. It was the biggest and nicest backyard I had seen yet, even at a price-point high above ours. I couldn't believe it! It had a patio, a shed out back for Caleb's outdoor toys and lawn equipment, and the yard was fully-fenced in. Amazing. It had a couple of beautiful big trees to hang Caleb's swing from, which we also hadn't found yet, AND they were willing to allow pets. We want to get a dog over this next year but we haven't found more than one landlord willing to allow it. The fenced in yard was perfect for a dog too! Even better, upon talking to the landlord's husband, he informed us that we could start paying whenever we moved in and that they would simply prorate the month. Are you kidding me?! This was too much. Shawn and I left a deposit with him to ensure the house was ours and pulled out of the driveway smiling like a bunch of school girls. Everything on our wish list was right there, in one house. Yeah, we'd prefer a bigger kitchen, but to have everything else on our list we hardly cared! The neighborhood was so much nicer than the last one we had looked at, full of all single-family homes with lots of kids, and it seemed very serene. We couldn't wait to move in! We thanked God the minute we got into the car and throughout the rest of the day, thanking him for blessing us so abundantly with the perfect house even though we failed to trust him so many times.
Will we ever learn? This morning I read a section of Hebrews that applies perfectly to this situation. Chapter three of this book in the Bible warns against unbelief. "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.'" I really had to stop and think about this one. This scripture references the Israelites who were led out of slavery. The Lord heard their cries and appointed Moses to lead them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. The people witnessed the miracles performed by God through Moses, and they saw their prayers answered when they were set free by Pharaoh. Yet, when Pharaoh and his people fled into the desert to bring them back, the Israelites were instantly struck with fear. God told them not to be afraid, but they couldn't help it. They saw no way out. They were too focused on their circumstances instead of on God, just like we usually are and how Shawn and I were about our house. So what did God do? He parted the sea for them. Think about that! Imagine watching the waves separate and a path for in between them, a path which closed up after his people made their way through so that Pharaoh and his troops could not. Wow. THAT is the God we serve and THAT is what he's capable of. What amazed me is that just after all that, the people were instantly grumbling again that they were going to starve out in the wilderness because they had no food. Many of them said that they would've rather stayed slaves and died with food in their bellys than to die of starvation in the wilderness. I couldn't believe it, as I read. How ungrateful! But I really shouldn't judge them because I do the same thing all the time. God shows me how amazing he is, he answers my prayers, he provides for me, and then the next time something goes wrong I question him immediately and a sense of panic sets in. How sad. God deserves much better than that. Look at all he did for the Israelites, raining loaves of bread on them and providing for their needs even when they were so ungrateful and severely lacking in faith. He loves us so much and simply wants us to be with him and trust in him more and more each day. And that has been my prayer for myself in all this. I shouldn't have needed this amazing house as yet another reminder to trust God. He is good ALL THE TIME, even when it doesn't seem like it. "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good." Recite that to yourself next time something goes wrong until it sticks, and remind yourself that even when you can't see it, he is at work to bring good about. And even when it's taking longer than you'd like for him to do something, rest assured that he is. God is always good and he is always faithful.
The same day we saw the house, Shawn called the moving company to let them know and reserve the truck. We were so excited. Unfortunately, their response was not what we had expected. We called on Halloween and were told that the earliest they could get our stuff was November 13, and that the earliest they could get it to Georgia would be November 17-20. What!? What a bummer. We really wanted to get into our new home and get our baby settled, surrounded by all of his familiar things. We've been without our own home for almost a year now and it seemed almost cruel to make us wait now, just when we found something. Even worse, we have to be out of the temporary corporate housing by November 18 at the latest. If the truck doesn't arrive until the 19th or 20th, what will we do?! I could feel myself start to get upset but then I remembered: God. God is good, all the time. Even when I don't understand. Perhaps I was being tested, and I really didn't want to fail again. God had just been so good to us. Shawn and I were pretty certain the second-last house we saw was the best one we were going to get. But God knew better. He asked for patience and trust, and then he delivered something so much better. We were being given another opportunity to trust in him, which my sister actually reminded me of. :-) God knows best, and I know he'll provide. His timing is always better than ours, so we will wait on him and trust him to take care of us. And interestingly enough, that night I found out that one of my sister's friends had an island she was willing to let us borrow for our small kitchen. I had looked online and couldn't believe the prices - up to $799 - for something on wheels! I figured she had something small or old but beggers can't be choosers. Then she sent me a picture of it and it's absolutely beautiful, just like one of the $799 ones, and she wouldn't let me give her a penny. God is good.
I had such a long day cooped up in the apartment today that for the first time, I told Shawn I needed to get out for an hour when he got home. Now that we are going to be here without most of our stuff longer than expected I wanted to get Caleb a couple cheap things to do, a few necessities, and I also thought I might pop in Plato's Closet and see if I could get a cheap sweater or two. The weather here got pretty darn cold today, much colder than I expected it to be this time of year, and I didn't pack anything really warm. I popped into the Dollar Store and had a blast getting some fun stuff for Caleb and I to do together, like balloons, play dough, stacking blocks, painting and coloring stuff. Then I went to Plato's Closet and was pretty disappointed at the condition of the clothes and the selection. I searched high and low but only found three sweaters to try on. What a bummer. I had really been looking forward to experiencing an Atlanta Plato's Closet and this was such a let down. And then it hit me; I was totally fine with it. I actually didn't even want anything. All I wanted to do was to get home to Caleb and show him what I got. I had so much more fun shopping for him than I did for me. I walked out of Plato's Closet empty-handed with a big ole' smile on my face. I couldn't help but think about how much joy God must feel to lavish his blessings on us, his children. If we, as human parents, love giving our children gifts and seeing them happy as much as we do, I can't even imagine how happy it makes God to see us happy. In Jeremiah 32:41 he says "I will enjoy blessing them. With all my heart and soul I will faithfully plant them in this land." I think we just all need to do a better job, in a world torn by sin and hate, to remember that bad things don't come from God, that God loves us more than we could possibly imagine, and that he always, ALWAYS, has our best interest at heart. Even when we think we know what's best for us, we truly don't. But he does. We need to pray for the grace to trust him more and more with each passing day, because he really does deserve it and he's never done anything but give us reason after reason after reason to trust him.
Evidence of God's Desire to Bless His People:
Psalm 31:19
"Lord you have stored up great blessings for those who honor you. You do much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world."
Deuteronomy 28:2-8
"You will experience all these blessings IF you obey the Lord your God. You will be blessed in your towns and in the country. You will be blessed with many children and productive fields. You will be blessed with fertile herds and flocks. You will be blessed with baskets overflowing with fruit, and with kneading bowls filled with bread. You will be blessed wherever you go, both in coming and in going. The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you...and the Lord will bless everything you do and will fill your storehouses with grain."
2 Corinthians 9:8
"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work"
The first big thing I felt like I needed the Lord for was to see my family and I all safely to Atlanta. Next, I needed his rest. My son wasn't sleeping, I wasn't sleeping, he barely napped, and everything in our lives had just changed. Just as soon as my son and I landed in Atlanta my husband started working 11-hour days and Caleb and I were left alone in an apartment in Midtown, with no car, no friends, and hardly anything to do. Boy oh boy has God used all of this to draw me nearer to him. There has been a lot of stress with trying to find a house to rent when we only have one car and are trying to find something about 30 minutes from where we are, which often takes an hour or more to get to with Atlanta traffic. I noticed how quickly my anxiety skyrocketed as each new day passed by without any prospects. I started checking Craiglist incessantly, whenever my son was occupied for a moment, checking my e-mail to see if anyone had responded, browsing Trulia and Zillow to see if anything new had gone up. Six times a day, at least. Ridiculous. Then, in my time with the Lord while my son napped, I would feel pretty convicted about my lack of patience or faith in him, and decide to stop checking these sites incessantly. Yet, when I woke up the next day, I was right back to it. I wonder what God was thinking up there, watching me realize my sin and seek to turn from it, just to run right back to it the next morning. Oye. Luckily he loves me like crazy and forgives me each and every time I fall. It's crazy. Finally, after praying and finding a great house on the Internet, my hubby and I got to see it, along with a few others we made appointments for. The one we were most interested in was our last stop and when we pulled up, we felt excited immediately. It was so cute from the outside, big, with a nice driveway, yard, and two-car garage. It was clearly much more house than we had seen yet! I walked inside to a huge living room, three bedrooms (just what we wanted and felt we needed), a big master bedroom (bonus!) with walk-in closets, and an eat-in kitchen that would work perfectly for our messy toddler. My husband so much as walked in the door before he said, "I want it." I asked my sister to come down with her husband and son to give us a second opinion as I frivolously filled out the application. I noticed the carpet was a little dirty, and so were the appliances and the kitchen in general, but it had more things on our wish list than any property had yet. When my sister applied she was pretty concerned about how dirty the carpet was, considering we have a toddler who still falls and is typically sitting or playing on the floor. She was also concerned about some places on the back of the house where the siding had been eaten away, especially the part where damage seemed to have come through into the kitchen. I was also concerned about those things, but my husband didn't really care. He thought we were being too picky. To me, it seemed like all he saw was the size of the house, and everything else was cosmetic to him. He could deal with outdated and a little dirty if we would have the space we need for our son and all our stuff not to have to go in storage. We talked about it on the way home and felt happy that our application was in, along with just one other person. Our chances were pretty high! My sister texted about a sex offender living just a few houses up, and my husband nearly went through the roof. (She's a parole officer for a living, by the way, and this is just something she tends to look into when kids are involved.) Shawn wanted that house and he was upset that I was excited and had wanted it until my sister showed up, and now didn't at all. For the money the house was a steal, but it also had some issues. We went to bed aggravated with each other, again, after having some words about our personal feelings. Tension had been mounting as we neared the end of our first full week here with no house, and it was getting the best of us. We were trying to be faithful, knowing full-well God would provide, yet when we focused on our circumstances more than we focused on him everything started to go downhill. Shawn's company had provided temporary housing for us for four weeks only, and the paperwork was already completed for us to leave by November 18. We were under the gun. To make matters worse, the moving company needed a couple of weeks notice to get our stuff from Buffalo down here, so we really only had less than one more week to find something. All that considered, we were failing miserably at trusting in Him, and we both knew it.
A couple of days later, we still hadn't heard from the listing agent on the house. We continued to look online but didn't find anything. That is when I really felt the Holy Spirit working on me to trust in Him, to take one day at a time, and to realize that God is in control and not me. I took a much-needed breather from all the house-hunting to take my son over to Piedmont Park. We played on the playground and then I walked him over to see all the ducks in the pond. We watched as people threw them pieces of bread, amazed at how fast they reacted and what a commotion it caused. They were poking each other, fighting over the bread, honking and sqwaking and everybody was up in arms, or at least most of them. Then I noticed a duck just below where we were that wasn't moving at all. He wasn't rushing in to get his fill or strategically planning his break-in. In fact, he didn't move at all. He floated quietly, gazing over at the swarm of ducks acting ridiculously, totally unbothered. I couldn't stop watching him. He kind of amazed me. Here all these ducks were coming from everywhere around once they realized food was being given out and they were all pushing each other out of the way and reacting frantically whenever another piece of bread hit the water. We definitely saw a few duck fights! But this little guy seemed to know something all the others didn't. It was if he had a secret that no one else knew. I wanted to know it, and then it suddenly dawned on me that I already did. This duck knew he didn't have to fight his way to the front of the line to get his share or what he felt like he deserved. He didn't have to get all worked up or fight with others, because he was fed and knew he would be fed again. This duck, in my eyes, seemed to be aware that the Lord would provide for him the way he always had. I immediately thought of Matthew 6:26: "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Wow. I had just been nailed. Shawn and I knew the Lord would provide a home for us and yet we hadn't been acting like it. I was telling God I trusted him and talking to Shawn about how I knew he would provide, yet I was searching websites incessantly, making phone calls and appointments frantically out of fear I'd be beat out by somebody else, and anxiously checking my e-mail every 10 minutes to see if I had a response yet. Each time someone got back to me to inform me that the house we were interested in was gone, I felt a little more despair creep over me. I tried to fight it, but I was losing hope. This duck was my inspiration. God used him to teach me a lesson, and I wouldn't soon forget it. It was time to practice more patience than I had so far, and time to truly show God that I trusted him instead of just talking about it.
We found out later that day that the house Shawn had wanted so bad was gone. It went to the other couple. Honestly, I felt relieved. We had prayed pretty hard that God wouldn't let us get into something we thought we wanted if it wasn't his best for us. We had a feeling that house had some issues and we didn't need to take just anything out of fear nothing better would come along. I didn't lose hope this time, though, because I knew God was at work. And he was. The next day I got a call from a real estate agent who had been at the last property we saw. It was his clients that got it. He knew we were looking and had my contact information from requesting information about that property, even though he wasn't the agent I had been working with. He was very kind and told me he would be happy to let me know of anything that came along in the area we desired to live. Later that day he e-mailed me about a sign he saw in his old neighborhood. A three-bedroom, two bath house was up for rent in Woodstock but it wasn't posted online or anything. I asked for more information and he sent a little bit that sounded good. Then he called me later that night to give me the landlord's contact information. Interestingly enough, I didn't even need to call her. She called me within the hour. It's funny how things often feel forced when we try to control them, but how easily they flow when we let God be the one in charge. The landlord told me a lot about the property and I told her a little bit about us. We had a great conversation and I could tell she almost wanted us to move in already as much as we did. I just had a good feeling without even seeing the place. She sent me a string of pictures a few minutes later and I couldn't believe it! The house looked great! It was a cute ranch, with a nice big living room, a big master bedroom with a walk-in closet, a good-sized room for Caleb and one for our guests/playroom, and everything looked to be in good shape. It even had room for our table in the kitchen so that my son isn't eating over carpeting (he's a bit of a messy eater). Then came the kicker: she had just recarpeted. That was my big issue with the last property, that and the kitchen. We would be the first ones on these carpets, which is awesome, and even though her kitchen was smaller it was clean! Shawn and I were ecstatic to see it the next day. When we arrived with our son and entered the house, it was obvious we needed to do some paint touchups but other than that the house was great! It was spacious, relatively clean, had a room off the kitchen for laundry, a good-size garage, nice bedrooms and bathrooms, and then we saw the yard. Oh. My. Word. It was the biggest and nicest backyard I had seen yet, even at a price-point high above ours. I couldn't believe it! It had a patio, a shed out back for Caleb's outdoor toys and lawn equipment, and the yard was fully-fenced in. Amazing. It had a couple of beautiful big trees to hang Caleb's swing from, which we also hadn't found yet, AND they were willing to allow pets. We want to get a dog over this next year but we haven't found more than one landlord willing to allow it. The fenced in yard was perfect for a dog too! Even better, upon talking to the landlord's husband, he informed us that we could start paying whenever we moved in and that they would simply prorate the month. Are you kidding me?! This was too much. Shawn and I left a deposit with him to ensure the house was ours and pulled out of the driveway smiling like a bunch of school girls. Everything on our wish list was right there, in one house. Yeah, we'd prefer a bigger kitchen, but to have everything else on our list we hardly cared! The neighborhood was so much nicer than the last one we had looked at, full of all single-family homes with lots of kids, and it seemed very serene. We couldn't wait to move in! We thanked God the minute we got into the car and throughout the rest of the day, thanking him for blessing us so abundantly with the perfect house even though we failed to trust him so many times.
Will we ever learn? This morning I read a section of Hebrews that applies perfectly to this situation. Chapter three of this book in the Bible warns against unbelief. "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.'" I really had to stop and think about this one. This scripture references the Israelites who were led out of slavery. The Lord heard their cries and appointed Moses to lead them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land. The people witnessed the miracles performed by God through Moses, and they saw their prayers answered when they were set free by Pharaoh. Yet, when Pharaoh and his people fled into the desert to bring them back, the Israelites were instantly struck with fear. God told them not to be afraid, but they couldn't help it. They saw no way out. They were too focused on their circumstances instead of on God, just like we usually are and how Shawn and I were about our house. So what did God do? He parted the sea for them. Think about that! Imagine watching the waves separate and a path for in between them, a path which closed up after his people made their way through so that Pharaoh and his troops could not. Wow. THAT is the God we serve and THAT is what he's capable of. What amazed me is that just after all that, the people were instantly grumbling again that they were going to starve out in the wilderness because they had no food. Many of them said that they would've rather stayed slaves and died with food in their bellys than to die of starvation in the wilderness. I couldn't believe it, as I read. How ungrateful! But I really shouldn't judge them because I do the same thing all the time. God shows me how amazing he is, he answers my prayers, he provides for me, and then the next time something goes wrong I question him immediately and a sense of panic sets in. How sad. God deserves much better than that. Look at all he did for the Israelites, raining loaves of bread on them and providing for their needs even when they were so ungrateful and severely lacking in faith. He loves us so much and simply wants us to be with him and trust in him more and more each day. And that has been my prayer for myself in all this. I shouldn't have needed this amazing house as yet another reminder to trust God. He is good ALL THE TIME, even when it doesn't seem like it. "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good." Recite that to yourself next time something goes wrong until it sticks, and remind yourself that even when you can't see it, he is at work to bring good about. And even when it's taking longer than you'd like for him to do something, rest assured that he is. God is always good and he is always faithful.
The same day we saw the house, Shawn called the moving company to let them know and reserve the truck. We were so excited. Unfortunately, their response was not what we had expected. We called on Halloween and were told that the earliest they could get our stuff was November 13, and that the earliest they could get it to Georgia would be November 17-20. What!? What a bummer. We really wanted to get into our new home and get our baby settled, surrounded by all of his familiar things. We've been without our own home for almost a year now and it seemed almost cruel to make us wait now, just when we found something. Even worse, we have to be out of the temporary corporate housing by November 18 at the latest. If the truck doesn't arrive until the 19th or 20th, what will we do?! I could feel myself start to get upset but then I remembered: God. God is good, all the time. Even when I don't understand. Perhaps I was being tested, and I really didn't want to fail again. God had just been so good to us. Shawn and I were pretty certain the second-last house we saw was the best one we were going to get. But God knew better. He asked for patience and trust, and then he delivered something so much better. We were being given another opportunity to trust in him, which my sister actually reminded me of. :-) God knows best, and I know he'll provide. His timing is always better than ours, so we will wait on him and trust him to take care of us. And interestingly enough, that night I found out that one of my sister's friends had an island she was willing to let us borrow for our small kitchen. I had looked online and couldn't believe the prices - up to $799 - for something on wheels! I figured she had something small or old but beggers can't be choosers. Then she sent me a picture of it and it's absolutely beautiful, just like one of the $799 ones, and she wouldn't let me give her a penny. God is good.
I had such a long day cooped up in the apartment today that for the first time, I told Shawn I needed to get out for an hour when he got home. Now that we are going to be here without most of our stuff longer than expected I wanted to get Caleb a couple cheap things to do, a few necessities, and I also thought I might pop in Plato's Closet and see if I could get a cheap sweater or two. The weather here got pretty darn cold today, much colder than I expected it to be this time of year, and I didn't pack anything really warm. I popped into the Dollar Store and had a blast getting some fun stuff for Caleb and I to do together, like balloons, play dough, stacking blocks, painting and coloring stuff. Then I went to Plato's Closet and was pretty disappointed at the condition of the clothes and the selection. I searched high and low but only found three sweaters to try on. What a bummer. I had really been looking forward to experiencing an Atlanta Plato's Closet and this was such a let down. And then it hit me; I was totally fine with it. I actually didn't even want anything. All I wanted to do was to get home to Caleb and show him what I got. I had so much more fun shopping for him than I did for me. I walked out of Plato's Closet empty-handed with a big ole' smile on my face. I couldn't help but think about how much joy God must feel to lavish his blessings on us, his children. If we, as human parents, love giving our children gifts and seeing them happy as much as we do, I can't even imagine how happy it makes God to see us happy. In Jeremiah 32:41 he says "I will enjoy blessing them. With all my heart and soul I will faithfully plant them in this land." I think we just all need to do a better job, in a world torn by sin and hate, to remember that bad things don't come from God, that God loves us more than we could possibly imagine, and that he always, ALWAYS, has our best interest at heart. Even when we think we know what's best for us, we truly don't. But he does. We need to pray for the grace to trust him more and more with each passing day, because he really does deserve it and he's never done anything but give us reason after reason after reason to trust him.
Evidence of God's Desire to Bless His People:
Psalm 31:19
"Lord you have stored up great blessings for those who honor you. You do much for those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world."
Deuteronomy 28:2-8
"You will experience all these blessings IF you obey the Lord your God. You will be blessed in your towns and in the country. You will be blessed with many children and productive fields. You will be blessed with fertile herds and flocks. You will be blessed with baskets overflowing with fruit, and with kneading bowls filled with bread. You will be blessed wherever you go, both in coming and in going. The Lord will conquer your enemies when they attack you...and the Lord will bless everything you do and will fill your storehouses with grain."
2 Corinthians 9:8
"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work"
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