The Wise Bring Calm In The End

I started going to a new church several months ago. I was raised Catholic but recently started going to Crossroads, a Christian church close to where I live. This church offers something called The Journey, which consists of three courses that help Christians better understand and grow in their faith. I am taking my first class, Spiritual Development, right now. This week's class was about the Bible; understanding its significance, how to read it, and ways to study it. We talked about how to know what to read on any given day, and praying for the Lord to reveal whatever you will need (ahead of time) for your day. I've tried to "find" passages that were what I needed at the time before, but I did it on my own. That was before I was saved and received the Holy Spirit. Greg, the man teaching our class, talked about how the Bible is alive (the living word) when we read it with the Holy Spirit. I've been starting to crave reading the Word and understanding it in ways I never did before. Then, today, for the first time in my life, I prayed that the Lord would reveal to me what I needed for my day before I started it, and he did.

I opened my bible to Proverbs 29. As I read it, a few verses in particular stood out to me. I've been witnessing sin in a whole new way, amazed at its power and prevelance. I watch the way sin starts and how it progresses. I've become very aware of my own sins and continuously pray for the Holy Spirit's help to convict me of those sins and stop making them. Today I first stopped on verse 11: "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Wow. God is telling us that it is foolish to act off of our emotions, to give them power, and to essentially let them take us for a ride. And how often do you and I do this? Someone wrongs you, in a fit of road rage, at the office, or perhaps even your spouse says or does something disrespectful or hurtful, so you turn around and lash right back, usually on the defense. Then, you and I don't apologize when we know we should, because "we weren't the ones in the wrong." We wave our self-righteous flags and wait for an apology that often doesn't come, totally convinced we were wronged and weren't wrong. But actually, yes we were. Maybe we didn't start out in the wrong, but we put ourselves in the wrong by yelling back or acting off of our emotion. It happens all too often, countless times a day. And often the problem is that we are too quick to act or speak back. Verse 20 says, "Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them." Ouch. That one really struck close to home. I am so quick to speak, always have been, and I often say things I shouldn't based on pure emotion. I've been praying for The Lord's help with this, and this verse really encouraged me to keep at it. Next was Proverbs 29:22, "An angry person stirs up conflict; and a hot-tempered person commits many sins." Gosh, don't I know it. I've been witnessing that left and right lately. When we humans are upset about something, we tend to talk about it, act on it, and "get even." Not good. When our tempers are revved up, look out. We tend to commit many sins in this state of mind, spewing nasty or hurtful words at others, talking about others, acting out in ways we shouldn't. Jesus warns us very clearly to stay calm, and to not give power to our emotions. When we do, Satan wins. And unfortunately, sin is progressive. As depicted in Psalm 1, first you're walking by it, next you're standing in it, and then you're sitting with it. Sin will pull you in, along with everyone around you. We need more people heeding God's word, harnessing their emotions and holding their tongues, acting humbly as a channel of peace.

I recited verse 11 over and over again in my head, memorizing it. "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Over and over. I went about my day and would dwell on the significance of the passage here and there, but didn't seem to need it. Until about 5:30 p.m. Today is my son's first birthday. It's kind of a big deal, at least to me. My fiancee works 9-5 and I knew he would be gone for a large portion of the day, especially since he had a 5 p.m. interview scheduled. I wasn't happy about that, and neither was he, but there was nothing we could do. I started to prep dinner around 5:15 and awaited the text that Shawn (my fiancee) was leaving work. At 5:30 I still didn't have anything, so I texted him and asked him to please leave right after the interview and let me know when that was. I didn't get a response. At 5:45 p.m. I started to get pretty annoyed. Wasn't this the whole point of  new job, so that he won't be gone all the time, missing everything like he did when he worked at the Cheesecake Factory? My mind began to run wild. This is our son's FIRST birthday. Shawn's missed nearly the whole thing. Isn't this important to him?! He always says family comes first but actions speak louder than words and his darn job always seems to come first. Always. He thinks what he's doing is so important, but does he really think it's more important than our son? My emotions were starting to rev. I was getting mad. I picked up my phone and my fingers were ready to attack. But then something happened. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the verse. "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Convicted. I was about to act off of my "rage," but I knew I shouldn't. That's a sin that will create more sin. It is wise to act and speak in ways that bring about calm. I couldn't start dinner since I didn't know how long it would be before Shawn could leave, and Caleb was getting super fussy, so I decided to take him for a walk. It was a beautiful spring day with plenty of sunshine, and as I walked, I had to consciously try to let go of my thoughts. Satan was having a field day with me, each time I looked at my phone and saw Shawn hadn't texted, and as he plugged my mind with thoughts about Shawn not caring, I felt my breathing change. I was getting worked up again. So what did I do? I prayed. I asked the Holy Spirit to fill me with peace. I asked for help to stay calm, and as I did, more scripture entered my mind. Corinthians - "Love is patient." I wasn't being patient. Not at all. It wasn't fair to treat Shawn like he didn't care about us. Of course he does, and of course he wants to be here on Caleb's first birthday. Satan had me all strung out over an image of Shawn kicked back at a desk with his feet up, laughing with his co-workers, but that wasn't reality. Shawn was interviewing someone, and as soon as he could, I knew he would leave. I know Caleb and I are the most important things in the world to him, but I wasn't acting like that. He is working so hard all day every day to support us, and here I am acting like he's some monster that doesn't care about our family. Wow, it's amazing what the Devil can do. Forgive me Father, I prayed. I started to take some deep breaths, and to recite Proverbs 29:11 over and over. I had a choice to make, a choice we all get to make, countless times every day. Do we give full vent to our emotions, or do we act and speak in ways that bring calm? I felt better as I walked, as the war between emotion and peace subsided, and  I thanked God for his help. Satan's grip loosened more and more and I felt peace descend on me. 

Toward the end of our walk Shawn texted me "Leaving now love" and I responded "Thank you Shawn." Wow, how simple. How peaceful. How different than what almost happened, how different than what Satan wanted to happen.  If I "gave full vent" to my emotions Shawn and I would've gotten into a fight over it and Caleb's birthday night would've been ruined. But the Holy Spirit convicted me and God opened my eyes to the fact that I was mostly concerned about my own feelings, since Caleb didn't even know it was his birthday, and that I was allowing my disappointment in how little of Caleb's birthday Shawn was there for to turn into anger, an emotion which always results in sin. Emotions are dangerous things, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to help me overcome them.

At the end of my walk, it dawned on me... The scripture that I had prayed for this morning was exactly what I wound up needing today. Praise God. I've heard it done so many times but never witnessed it happen myself, until now. The power of the Holy Spirit is amazing! I am so grateful The Lord is working in my life, and pray he is working in your's in amazing ways too. Give your life to Him, invite his Holy Spirit in, and get ready to be rocked!!!